Modern Society Failure: Apologies – #PearlsofWisdumb

a·pol·o·gy

[uh-pol-uh-jee]
noun, plural -gies.

1. a written or spoken expression of one’s regret, remorse, or sorrow for having insulted, failed, injured, or wronged another.

Normally I would be posting about music, movies or some crazy video I found on the internet, but I have something that has been driving me nuts and I need to address it.  We seem to have lost sight of what an apology is in recent years.  We seem to believe that an apology is when we point out that someone doesn’t like something we said.  growing up, my parents would have kicked my ass if I said to my brother, “I’m sorry that you don’t like it when I call you an annoying fart eater.”  When stated like that, we realize how absurd it sounds.  What my parents had me tell my brother was, “I’m sorry that I called you an annoying fart eater, that was wrong and I am sorry.  I won’t do it again.”  Quite the difference.

Recently I have heard many “apologies” from public figures.  I use quotes because they aren’t apologies.  They are blame passers.  Rush Limbaugh is the most recent offender (personally, the fact that he has only apologized for this astonishes me.  Kind of like his Oxy habit and the fact he hasn’t had a heart attack.  And no, I am not sorry I said that.) with his comments concerning a birth control advocate.  Limbaugh released the following statement as an “apology”.  As my old english teacher would say, “Let’s break it down.”

“For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

This is the first paragraph of the “apology”.  To translate, “For over 20 years I have talked like a crazy person.  This time I said something that offended people who send me money.  I was not attacking the person directly, just her ideals.

I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit? In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone’s bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.

Paragraph 2: “This is an issue that I don’t agree with so I will trivialize it.  I will make a comparison between something logical and something illogical.”  We still haven’t had a real apology.  In Paragraph 1 he simply states that his words probably offended some people, while Paragraph 2 justifies his reasoning for using offensive words.

My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices.”

Paragraph 3: “I said something that pissed a lot of people off and thought it was funny.  I still think it is, but others don’t.  I am sorry to Ms. Fluke that you didn’t like the words I used.”

It is that final sentence that is a backhanded slap and one that has been prevalent in many “apologies”.  Rather than admitting remorse and taking blame for something one did, they word it crafty enough to make it look like they are sorry when they are really saying, “I’m sorry you are too sensitive to what I have to say.”  It is like when I say, “No offense” to someone and then say something offensive.  “No offense, but you drive like shit.”  You can’t be offended, I said “no offense”.

Limbaugh isn’t sorry he offended people, he is sorry that his sponsors are pulling the plug on his show.  He is not the first and certainly won’t be the last to offer a blame shifting “apology” and it isn’t something that is widespread amongst the celebrity spectrum.  It is my opinion that we all need a dose of humility and learn to be truly sorry for the stuff that we do.

 

Photo Credit: Kritter Cards

Apology definition taken from Dictionary.com

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